Making Choices

  

HS #121 2025.8.14

 

Making Choices

 

Kayaking recently down the Au Train River towards the sandy beach of Lake Superior, I approached a young lad who was singing to himself – a catchy tune with words I didn’t recognize. Passing him, I asked, “That’s a neat song, what language?” He replied with the straight authority of Walter Cronkite, “I just made them up – it’s gibberish.” 

 

I continued on, but would have enjoyed engaging him in a quick conversation. Not only was it impressive for him to reach within himself to find his own words and tune, it was even more impressive that he represented himself to the outside world with unvarnished truth. His actions were true, excellent, and praiseworthy. More on that later. 

 

I’m in my sixties. Folks at my age are making choices about when to retire, when to start Social Security, what sort of Medicare package to get, and perhaps where to move for their retirement years. Subtract twenty-five years, and folks are choosing whether to change careers, whether to move, perhaps whether to change spouse, how to deal with children and relatives. Subtract another twenty-five and folks are deciding whether to go to college or military or work, and if so, which one, whether to start/continue a romantic relationship . . . 

 

As you read this, you are likely thinking of some pressing choices you are wrestling with presently. 

 

And humans aren’t alone in such things. As I ponder this column, I am kayaking up the Au Train River. I just passed a log with five turtles on it. As I passed, a couple of the turtles scurried off, while the others decided to take the risk and stay basking in the sun. I imagine them laughing at their friends as they claw their way back onto the log.  On the other hand, if the jumpers poked their heads out of the water and saw their companions being whisked away by an otter, they’d likely feel rather satisfied with their decision. 

 

Yes, we are confronted with many weighty decisions, but when counseling high school students about which college to attend, I point out that while they are rightfully spending serious effort on this “big” decision, success in college and in life may well depend more on the small decisions: Who are your new friends?  Do you go to class consistently?   Do you manage your time well, balancing study with recreation and fun?  Are you deliberate with spending money? 

 

The right answers are not the same for everyone. Years ago, a conscientious first-year advisee at Hope College told me he was planning to pledge a fraternity in the spring semester. I cautioned him that the time commitment might affect his studying and grades. His eyes teared up a bit and he said, “I’m getting a 4.00 GPA this semester. I wouldn’t mind having a 3.7 GPA in exchange for more friends.” I gave him my hearty blessing. 

 

But another such student asked my counsel of how to do better because his goal was medical school.  I told him what I had learned, “Matt, decide when you want to go to bed each night and commit yourself to it. You’ll find that that will force you to make better time-management decisions throughout the day.” Years later, he thanked me as he graduated, bound for medical school, and many years later he thanked me again when I saw him at DeVos Fieldhouse, telling me that he’s now a surgeon and researcher at Corewell. 

 

C.S. Lewis counsels in “Mere Christianity”, “Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different than it was before.” 

My father saged a similar theme, “Sow a thought, reap a deed. Sow a deed, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.” 

But perhaps the most measured advice about “small” choices comes from the Apostle Paul. In most of his letters to churches, he had to address pressing problems. But when he wrote the trouble-free church at Philippi, he had opportunity to discuss his own priorities:  Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy – think on these things - - and the peace of God will be with you.   

Good advice. And choosing to habitually think on such things, even though it takes discipline, leads to a life such as the young man with inner song and outward truth. God knows we need more of that.