HS #133 2026.8.13
What’s up with today’s youth?
Just now back from the Holland Charter Township Community Center where I play pickleball regularly. Thirsty, I headed for the water fountains – one at adult height and one lower for children. Just ahead of me a 6’ 3” teen got there first. With no fanfare, he chose the lower fountain. Bending down to drink, he allowed me the more comfortable one. I thanked him for his generosity and told him that he had respected his elders. He smiled and wished me a good day.
I wouldn’t have thought to do that so naturally and easily as a teenager.
A bit later I was playing doubles with a 17-year-old partner. Several times when I made a bad shot, I called out “My fault” to which he reflexively responded, “All good.” I’m not that well behaved toward my partners at age 68.
What’s up with all this good behavior?
A few weeks ago, I was riding my bike back to my house on East 12th Street. Rounding the corner from Fairbanks, I passed what I call the “Hope Football House.” Greeted by the smell of grilled hamburgers, I mentioned to one of the guys in the yard that they smelled great. He instantly offered me one, and brought me a plate with a huge burger covered with cheese – along with a bag of chips. Never had met them before.
What’s up?
Now, let’s be careful. First of all, I am offering no sociological evidence. As someone has said, the plural of anecdote is not data. I leave such research to others. I am merely asking you, the reader, to reflect on your own experiences with today’s young people and concur (or disagree) with me.
Secondly, I am not trying to paint an overly rosy picture of today’s youth. Each generation has its own challenges and struggles. Certainly, a well-documented struggle of current young people is the depression that comes from comparing themselves not only with others who are physically present, but with countless friends who use social media to display their good times and activities.
But I AM saying that many of today’s youth are impressively polite and well mannered.
Twenty years ago in the early days of email, a typical message from a student might have been, “Hi. I won’t be in class tomorrow. Let me know if you cover anything important.” The standard email these days is, “Dear Professor Pennings – I hope you’re having a good weekend. I’m sorry that I will miss class Monday for a doctor’s appointment. I will get the notes from a friend and will ask if I have questions. Thanks much and have a good evening.”
I started getting these emails four years ago when I began teaching at Calvin University and wondered who was coaching the students. An introductory class? AI? High school training? But talking to colleagues at other colleges, apparently these polite and well-written emails are common today.
What’s up?
For this one, I have a possible answer. When email came on the scene at the end of the last century, it provided a quick informal alternative to physical letters and memos for those of us who grew up with paper. But for the present generation, texting is now the quick, informal means of communication, leaving email as the formal mode. Seem reasonable?
But I suspect something deeper is also at play.
As a Baby Boomer, I grew up in a home where I was expected to obey and respect my parents. “Spare the rod, spoil the child” was preached on Sundays, and corporal punishment was allowed at school. The “Generation Gap” of the 60’s and early 70’s followed. But then something happened in our culture. “Leave it to Beaver” and “Father Knows Best” gave way to “Family Ties” and “Silver Spoons” and “The Cosby Show” where parents were understanding pals rather than adult authorities. Time out sessions replaced spankings. These X-Generation and Millennial children with kinder-gentler parents have now had their own children and have passed on the spirit.
When college years came, I was eager to leave home to put distance between me and the parents. But today’s young people, it seems, often count their parents among their best friends and closest associates. Many stay in close contact via their phones.
And perhaps, just perhaps, these friendly relationships with parents have produced teenagers who are friendly with and act kindly towards all of us older folk. I’d like to think so.